Moments Suspended In Time
Friday, November 03, 2006
I have had no internet or computer for a week now, I am finding it difficult have such limited means of writing, there is just so much going through my head. I no longer sleep at nights, my beautiful Sister-in Law (married to H's brother) phoend me to tell me I was sick and had serious problems and she could no longerbe friends with me.
That hurt the most. We were so close. I understand that family closes ranks at a time like this but god that just stung.
The magistrate granted me temporary full custody and has served H with papers to appear in court in two and a half weeks time. He has a hotshot lawyer and I just miss out on eligibility of Legal Aid so I will be self representing. I am buried under a mountain of books and literature as I write this.
I feel sick and that gut wrenching feeling is there every moment of the day, but where do I draw the line? The acts of violence and intimidation were esculating, he emotionally abuses me and manipulates using Baby M. He refuses to do joint parenting with me and seems to resent my mere presence in her life.
If I kept accepting his behaiour then where is the limit? What will it take before I wake up to myself and regret not acting sooner? He has raised his hand to me already, in front of our child...what is next?
I truly feel I had no other choice, it sickens me that this is what it takes in a vain attempt to make him wake up to himself. He needs help, he needs anger management classes, counselling...I am going to apply for permanent full custody of Baby M with him having visitation right and try to put that course of action into play immediately through mediation.
The last thing I want is to deny her of a father, but as he stands right now, the damage he is doing is far outweighing the good.
Mermaid Girl